Everyone wants to have a healthy relationship. But it can sometimes feel impossible if you are fighting your own battle with an anxious mind. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that it is not. There are a few things you can do to ensure that you are giving your new relationship a fighting chance, anxiety notwithstanding.
Be honest with your partner.
Vulnerability can be scary, but your anxiety is something that your partner really needs to be aware of. Your anxious feelings can affect the way you do things or react to situations. You determine when you feel comfortable enough to tell your partner; this is your story after all. It does not have to be a heavy conversation if you don’t want it to be. You can slip it in simply by saying, “I get anxious and sometimes, if I act weird, that’s probably why.” Open the door for them to ask you questions. If they care, they will probably want to know what they can do to help you or make you feel better. A partner that is aware of your struggles is a much better partner.
You manage to do so much while dealing with this anxiety; a healthy relationship is not out of your reach. Just like normal relationships, some will fail. But that does not mean that you need to give up or shut yourself off because you have anxiety. Having anxiety does not mean that you are unlovable or hard to be with. It means that it will take a certain strength of character to love you. And trust me, someone will have that strength.
Keep things in perspective.
It is easy to spin out of control when something happens in your relationship. You fight or have a particularly hard night with each other and it is super comforting to retreat within yourself and decide that everything is about to spiral out of control. But don’t give in to that feeling. Communicate with your partner. Let them know that you are worried about where things stand and that you just need some reassurance, even in a less than happy time. No relationship, regardless how healthy, is rainbows and sunshine all the time. But that doesn’t mean that you have to unravel because of it.
Having a healthy relationship is something that is possible for everyone who wants one. Being a person with anxiety is not anything to be ashamed of and it does not hinder you from finding that great love. It means that you might just have to work a little bit harder than others. But isn’t love worth the work?